Goodies, and a tone of angry.

I heard a conversation today that inexplicably left me completely cracking up for the next half-hour.

Black girl #1: (singing..ish) My goodies, my goodies, my goodies...
Black girl #2: Yeah... so old though.
Black girl #1: What?!
Black girl #2: No no, I mean the song, not your goodies!

I think it was the earnest, concerned way #2 said it, worried that her comment could quite legitimately have been taken as an insult to her perhaps seventeen-year-old friend's, ah, "goodies."


Earlier today, I read an essay. It was really quite an impressive essay, an anchor from the 2003 or 2004 AP Lit exam, about a speech delivered by Alfred M. Green in 1861. I'll just quote bits of it here for you, dear reader, and let you marvel in its linguistic splendor.
"Alfred M. Green in his speech in Philadelphia in April 1861, during the first month of the civil war, tries to persuade African Americans to join the Union army by provoking feelings of tone with diction, and pacing with syntax."
This sentence starts out all right, mainly because it's copied directly from the prompt. Feelings of tone with diction, I'm quite certain, has some deep meaning that I'm failing to grasp by reason of not being clinically insane. Pacing with syntax, on the other hand, clearly refers to... um... never mind.

"Green does this in the first paragraph when he says '...bravery and patriotism of a race in whose hearts burns the love of country, of freedom, and of civil and religious toleration...'. This use of diction gives a tone of pride and patriotism. The diction here is simple enough for the common man to understand, yet still provokes the feeling of pride."
Fair enough. Pride, patriotism, yup. Diction is probably the right word to use, given that "diction" is a fancy way of saying "language," and Mr. Green is certainly using a language.

"In line twentyfive; Green says 'While we remember the past...to hope for the future" and inspires a hopeful tone, which contradicts the second paragraph's tone of angry."
I love this sentence, I really do. I'm not sure what tone of angry the second paragraph had, since the writer in fact has made no prior reference to the second paragraph whatsoever, but hey, it's a tone of angry. Who am I, or the MLA, or English teachers in grades two through eleven, to argue?

"He makes African American's seem worthy of recognition and at this time of the nineteenth century that was a lot."
I suppose the African American he's referring to has as much right to a seem as anyone else, though off the top of my head I cannot actually ascertain that anyone I know or have ever heard of has such a thing. The tense error between "this" and "that" is, of course, hardly worth mentioning, given the vast spectacles of stupendously splendiferous English that await.

"Green, again envoices the anger tone in the last paragraph when he quotes the South in lines 41 through 45. This makes African Americans at that time hurtful and angry. Then when he quotes a line from the Constitution in line 49&50, the tone again goes to hopeful and full of [price?]"
I sincerely regret that I could not read the last word of this sentence, as I am sure that it would greatly enlighten me as to exactly how one goes about quoting an entire squabbling region. I believe, in this case, that Mr. Green was in fact using a rhetorical strategy known as hyperbole, demonizing the South in order to further persuade his audience. But no matter; this masterful author has, in my opinion, a far better-established ethos than some old political blowhard from the nineteenth century. And lo! the anger tone returns.

"This speech goes by fairly quickly and reads nicely, therefore the pacing used in the syntax creates persuasion and paired with the rapidly changing..."
I regrettably had to desist in my consumption of this literary cornucopia at this point, because my throat was making involuntary choking noises, perhaps in response to the utterly glorious realm of expression this author has expanded into. I read the sentence several times over; oddly enough, there were few of the fascinating linguistic and syntactical permutations thus far encountered on my journey. It was, in fact, the meaning of this sentence which so arrested my attention. In fact, I am still looking for any discernible logic in the second phrase. Any assistance in deciphering the inexpressably deep inner meaning of this sentence would be greatly appreciated.